


For What It's Worth

by cuddlehazz



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Canon Compliant, City of Light (The 100), Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Implied Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Mount Weather, Protective Clarke Griffin, The Drop Ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7139984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlehazz/pseuds/cuddlehazz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke's life is a series of levers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For What It's Worth

_"Ohh father tell me_  
_Do we get what we deserve_  
_We get what we deserve_

 _Way down we go_  
_Way down we go_  
_Way down we go_  
_Way down we go_

 _You let your feet run wild_  
_The time has come as we all go down_  
_Ohh before the fall_  
_Do you dare to look them right in the eyes?_

 _'Cause they will run you down_  
_down to the dark_  
_yes and they will run you down_  
_down 'till you fall_  
_and they will run you down_  
_down to your core_  
_'till you can't crawl no more"_

_Kaleo- Way Down We Go_

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s life was a series of levers.

 

i.

Clarke hugged her father as tightly as she could one last time as they stood in front of the air lock. He was going to be floated. She was going to lose her father. All he wanted was what was best for his people. He wanted then to know the truth, to have all the information. He was going to die for his people and they will never know. Clarke wanted here people to know. She had told her father when they took him that she would tell them. Clarke would make sure her father’s death wasn’t in vain. He hugged her as she cried into his shoulder holding onto him for dear life. Clarke couldn’t lose him. He pushed his watch inter her hand, clasping his around hers. Clarke clutched the watch to her chest as her tears continuously fell.

He pulled away slowly telling her he loved her. This would be the last time she ever heard him say he loved her. Every time from now on would be a memory.

“I love you.” Clarke brokenly cried out as she watched her father step back into the air lock, his eyes never leaving hers.

Distantly she knew Wells was there standing along the wall behind them, watching. The Chancellor nodded after the doors were closed and seconds later the lever was pulled down opening the outer doors allowing the void of space to take her father.

Clarke watched as her father was pulled out of the Ark in a flash. He was gone. Her father died for their people and their people would never know. They would never see the video he made, they would never hear his message, they would never know why he was floated.

Clark clung to her mother as she sobbed. Clarke would never forgive Wells for what he did, how he betrayed her. He got her father floated.

Clarke was taken before she could finish what her father started. He died for nothing. Their people would never get the truth. The Ark was dying and their people would never know.

Clarke was confined to solitary. She grieved for her father alone staring out into space, literally. She drew Earth, the plants, her father would have loved the drawings. At least when she was drawing she could focus onto something other than her father’s death. She could breathe.

Clarke was alone.

 

ii.

The Drop Ship landed.

There was no machine hum to be heard for the first time there was a new kind of silence. Clarke took a breath then hurried to get out of her seat and away from Wells, but also to reach the door before the others pulled it open and possibly killed everyone inside. They had no idea what Earth was like, if it was livable, if the air was breathable. She saw the bodies of those who got out of their seats before the ship landed, now dead. 

Clarke watched as Bellamy reached for the lever after he was reunited with his sister. She had heard the story being her mother was a Councilwoman, but seeing them was much different.  

“The air could be toxic!” She yelled over the roar of the delinquents. They knew nothing about what Earth might actually be like. They were an experiment, sent to die. Their survival wasn’t expected and probably for many of them their survival wasn’t wanted either. They were expendable, so they had been sent to die in the hopes that the Ark would get some useful information from them and their deaths.

“Then we are dead either way.” Bellamy had replied as he looked up at her from his sister who was standing so close to him. His eyes met Clarke’s, ready for an argument but amused. She had to admit he had a point. They had nothing in the ship to sustain them, the door had to be opened.

Clarke watched as Bellamy pulled the lever that opened the door to whatever lay outside. Earth. It was beautiful. They had all the air they needed available to them for the first time in their lives. There was no machine hum. They were on Earth.

Bellamy offered for Octavia to be the first one to step on Earth for over a hundred years. Octavia walked out slowly and jumped onto the ground after taking a deep breath of fresh Earth air.

“We’re back bitches!” Octavia screamed throwing her head back and arms out to the sky. Bellamy smiled at Octavia fondly.

Everyone ran out of the Drop Ship once she yelled and didn’t immediately die. Clarke walked down the door looking around. It was everything she imagined but so much better, greener and fresher. She knew they needed supplies if they were going to have any chance of survival. No one else seemed to be concerned with that so she started with the map. They needed to get to Mount Weather for supplies.

It seemed to be up to Clarke to make sure they remembered the serious things like supplies not just jumping and running through the trees, that wasn’t going to help them survive in the least.

Clarke was on her own again. Or so she thought. A few of the delinquents were willing to help her find Mount Weather and get supplies. Her mother told her that she would want to protect everyone.

Her mother was right.

It didn’t matter what they did to end up on Earth, what mattered was that they are her people.

Her people, her responsibility.

 

iii.

Raven and Jasper were ready to use the fuel to defeat the Grounders. She needed to get everyone in the Drop Ship immediately.

Clarke called for everyone to get into the ship. They had to hurry the Grounders were getting through the barrier and closer and closer to the ship.

Finn and Bellamy weren’t in the Drop Ship yet. They needed to get to the ship, they had to survive. Clarke didn’t want to lose anymore of her people. Her mother was already dead; she had watched the exodus ship crash. She didn’t know if there were people on the Ark or not being all communications were cut, but if there were people left on the Ark they were now doomed. She saw the result of the culling. The 100 were her people, she wasn’t going to lose them.

It was too late. There wasn’t enough time for them to get to the ship. She was told to close the door. Clarke had to decide: the lives of the many or the lives of the few. The few were so important to her. Finn meant so much to her even though he broke her heart. Bellamy had become important to her as well, though not willingly, more through necessity. She couldn’t imagine being on Earth, leading their people without Bellamy by her side. She needed Bellamy.

Clarke pulled the lever closing the entrance to the Drop Ship to the Grounders and her own people. She remembered something they had said when they were fighting of the blood virus, ‘I am become death’. She never knew that it would pertain to her own hand and her own people.

After some tries Jasper hit the button and the rockets were lit, anyone around them would be dead. Clarke hoped Finn and Bellamy got away but she knew that couldn’t be. They were dead. They couldn’t have survived, but then again nobody expected any of the 100 to survive for this long.  

When she opened the door she looked for them hoping they survived, she had to have hope for them.   

She didn’t get very far into the burned remains before canisters came over the burnt shell of their camps barrier expelling a yellow colored gas.

Everything went dark.

Clarke's thoughts were on Bellamy and Finn. Did they survive? Would their people?

 

iv.

Clarke saw Jasper and Maya talking as they ate at a table in the corner of the Dining Hall in Mount Weather. 

Maya’s key card was sitting on top of a stack of books off to the side. Clarke holding her own book, walked over to them interrupting Maya and Jasper's flirting. Clarke set her book on top of Maya’s pile of books and the key card as Jasper looked up seeing that Clarke had joined them. Jasper hoped this interaction went well because the last few interactions between Maya and Clarke hadn't gone so well. 

“Hey, it’s Maya, right? I just wanted to say sorry for this morning. I was scared and worried about my friends. I hope you can understand that.” Clarke said to Maya. Maya only nodded in return. Clarke looked at Jasper who nodded to her, he looked happy to see her trying. Clarke really didn't want to hurt Maya she had been worried about her people. That's doesn't mean Clarke wouldn't do anything for her people. 

Jasper said to Maya, “I know she’s intense but Clarke's the only reason we survived.” Jasper was proud to be Clarke’s people. Clarke had saved them. He was happy to be in the Mountain too. To be safe, and to be with Maya. Jasper hadn't felt safe in a long time. 

As Clarke left she picked up her book and Maya’s key card. As she walked away, Clarke pocketed the key card. Continuing out of the dining hall the warning siren and lights started to go. “Not a prisoner huh?” Clarke said out loud to no one in particular. Clarke didn’t trust these people. She wanted out. Clarke started to run. There were guards coming from every direction. This place was a prison. A prison her people were locked in.   

Clarke ran looking for a way out when she came to a door and run up a long flight of stairs after disabling the door making sure no one could follower her. Clarke didn’t trust these people. She had to get out. 

As the sirens blared, the lights flashed, and a recording of a woman’s voice saying ‘unauthorized access’ played, Clarke came to a door with a lever beside it. She tried to pull the lever down but it wouldn’t budge. She looked to the door that had a wheel on it and started to turn the wheel. She wanted to get out of the prison of a mountain.

Clarke moved to the lever ready to pull it when Jasper and Maya burst in. “Clarke no if you pull that lever these people will die!” Jasper yelled at her. Clarke didn’t trust these people; she just didn’t believe them. Clarke continued to hold her hand on the lever even when Maya came back holding a gun, prepared to shoot.

Jasper intervened. Jasper was happy in Mount weather with the Mountain Men. He wanted to see where it could go with Maya.

Clarke didn’t know what to do. She wanted to get out. She wanted to get her people out. Maybe this wasn’t the right way or right time.

Jasper got between Maya who was holding a gun ready to shoot and Clarke who was ready to pull the lever.

“Clarke don’t do this,” Jasper said trying to reason with Clarke. Jasper liked not having to worry about himself or his people getting speared. He loved the food. He felt safe. Jasper trusted Clarke but he wanted so badly for what they have been given to be real.

“I don’t believe them,” Clarke said as she shook her head with glassy eyes and a thick voice, her and still on the lever. Clarke could see that Jasper was hurting.

Jasper had only seen kindness since he had been in Mount Weather. He couldn’t understand why the Mountain Men would lie. “Why would they lie?” Jasper asked Clarke. Clarke’s eyes flickered to Maya then back to Jasper. “Listen to me we are safe here because of you.” Jasper said then breathed out a quiet, “We’re safe.”

“Not all of us.” Clarke said as tears brimmed her eyes. Her voice shook as she thought of Bellamy and Finn who were not among those in Mount Weather. They were dead as far as she knew. They were dead. Clarke lost her people, very important people.

Jasper was crying as he said, “I’m the one who fired the rockets, should I not have done that?” Jasper was haunted by what he did. He saved his people, most of them but at what cost. Clarke watched Jasper. This was probably the first time he said out loud what he had done. What they had done. Clarke could see the toll it took on Jasper.

“Clarke when you pulled that lever you saved lives don’t throw that away by pulling this one.” What Clarke did, pulling the lever in the Drop Ship on the grounders and her own people will haunt her. To Jasper it just saved everyone. He was upset that not everyone made it but he was happy that they did. He was happy for the living, not drowning in the dead, like Clarke was. Clarke wanted her people safe. Jasper thought that meant staying in the Mountain.

Clarke let her hand slide off the lever, defeated. 

At that moment the guards rushed in pulling her to the ground as Jasper stood to the side with his hands up. Jasper was glad he was able to convince Clarke not to pull the lever but he was worried she wouldn’t stop. He knew she was going to have a hard time trusting them. For now, they were okay. They were safe. Jasper could continue to get to know Maya. They had food, good food at they. They were okay.

Clarke couldn’t help but feel like she made a mistake by not pulling the lever. She knew something was wrong, that her people weren’t safe. Clarke didn’t believe the Mountain Men. She didn’t trust them. Something wasn’t right with this mountain and its people.

Clarke didn’t trust. She needed out. She wanted her people safe and she didn’t believe this was the place to be safe for her people.

Clarke regretted not pulling the lever.   

 

v.

Clarke looked at Bellamy when Monty said that to leak in radiated air all they had to do was pull the lever in front of them on the console.

“Together.” Bellamy said she grabbed the lever. He put his hand over hers. They work best together; they have for a long time now. Even when they were a part, Clarke making a deal with Lexa and Bellamy in the mountain, they were working together. They save their people, no matter the cost. Bellamy meant so much to her. She needed him. Bellamy needed Clarke. They needed each other. Whether to pull the lever or not was Clarke's decision, but Bellamy would follow her in any choice she made. Bellamy would bear the same burden as Clarke, but differently. 

There was no other way to end this. The Mountain Men would never stop coming after her people. There was no way her people would be safe so long as the Mountain Men were alive. Some of them helped her people. Some of them were good. Most of them didn’t deserve to die. Maya didn’t deserve to die. She was nothing but nice to them, she helped Clarke’s people more than Clarke probably knows. A lot of the Mountain Men helped them. They are going to die for their kindness.  

Not only that but there were small children who had nothing to do with any of this. They didn’t have a clue as to what was going on. The children deserve better.

Collateral. There was so much collateral.

Clarke watched as they drilled into her mother’s leg. Her mother wasn’t even screaming anymore; she was just lying there staring at the ceiling.

The Mountain Men would never stop killing her people.

Clarke took a breath and with the help of Bellamy’s hand over hers, together they pulled the lever.

‘I am become death’, the phrase, said by Oppenheimer but actually from a translation of the Bhagavad Gita, drifted through Clarke’s head again on repeat with every breath she took. It had fit her before but now there is no better fit. This time Clarke didn’t condemn grounders and an important few of her own. She condemned an entire population to death and her own humanity in order to save her people. That didn’t even speak to how this will affect everyone and everything later on. Bellamy stood beside her. They did this together.

‘I am become death’

On the screen they watched as the Mountain Men holding their people hostage died. Her people were safe, but at what cost?

‘I am become death’

Clarke walked, with Bellamy at her side, into the dining hall to see Jasper holding a dying Maya in his arms as he cried into her and Octavia watching helplessly. Maya didn’t deserve this fate. Maya deserved better.

‘I am become death’

There was so much collateral damage. All those people. Maya. Jasper would never be the same. None of them would be. Her people survive.

‘I am become death’

Clarke walked over the dead bodies in the dining hall to her mother who was still strapped to the table.

“I tried.” Clarke said as she hugged her mother who was now free from the restraints but clearly in pain. “I tried to be the good guy.” Clarke cried into her mother’s shoulder as her people were freed from their restraints. Her people survive.

‘I am become death’  

“Maybe there are no good guys.” Her mother replied desperately holding on to Clarke. Clarke tried but she knew in the end there was no other option.

‘I bear it so my people don’t have too’ Dante had said. Now she understood what he had meant. Her soul had to bear the three hundred deaths she just caused on top of the lives she already took.

She will bear it so her people don’t have to.  

Clarke would bear it alone. Like Dante had. Like her father had.

 

 vi.

Clarke saw Lexa again. She was able to hold Lexa again. Lexa saved her.

Clarke was in the City of Light and so was Lexa. Until she wasn’t.

Clarke watched as Lexa ran head first into battle to protect Clarke, to give Clarke time to save her people, their people. Clarke wasn’t just saving her people this time, Clark was saving all those who were chipped. 

Clarke looked at Lexa one last time before she went through Raven’s path to the kill switch.

Clarke was back on the Ark. She saw ALIE in her red dress and her creator, Becca. They gave Clarke conflicting views on what would happen. ALIE told her the earth was doomed. She showed Clark that Earth was doomed. ALIE showed Clarke the burning reactors all over Earth. Becca only said that ALIE was stalling, she never said ALIE was wrong. Becca said ALIE was programmed to make things better at any cost.

“If you pull that you will kill everyone.” ALIE told her trying to convince Clarke not to pull the lever. ALIE wanted to keep those in the City of Light where they were. She wanted to keep their pain away from them.

“All you have to do is pull the lever.” Becca told her firmly as the seconds ticked away on her fathers’ watch.

ALIE tried to talk Clarke out of pulling yet another lever. Clarke though of all her people had been through. This wasn’t the answer. Holding people hostage wasn’t the answer. Clarke will always do whatever it takes to save her people, even from themselves.

“I tried running away from my pain, it doesn’t work.” Clarke told ALIE. “We’ll figure something out, we always do.” They have survived longer than anyone ever thought they would. The 100 prevail. They will survive whatever is yet to come.

“You don’t ease pain, you overcome it.” Clarke said then she looked a Becca, “and we will.” One thing that Clarke has learned in her life is that there will always be something to knock you down but you must always get back up. Bad things will always happen but it is how you face them, who you face them with, and why you face them. Clarke will face anything, head held high, for her people. Clarke knows she will never face anything alone anymore because even during her time away from her people they never were way from her truly. Everything she did was for them and she will continue to do everything and anything for them.

Clarke looked down putting her hand on the lever, took a breath while closing her eyes, and pulled.

Killing ALIE was different from all the other kills Clarke bore on her soul. This time it wasn’t a real person for one, however she feels like she condemned her people to something else entirely. They could have escaped their pain, now all they will have is pain.

When she came out of the City of Light the first thing she saw was her mom. Bellamy came over to her and helped her up. He stood by her side. They have and always will work best together. Bellamy trusted Clarke. Bellamy trusted Clarke even though she left them. If she hadn’t they would have never known as much as they did about ALIE or the Flame. Bellamy didn’t like Clarke being away from their people, from _him_ , but he knew she will always do anything for their people. But she was here now with him. She still trusted him after everything he did.

“It’s not over.” Clarke told Bellamy, remembering what ALIE told her and what ALIE showed her. They had a fight ahead of them. Clarke had no idea where to start in this new battle for survival. Right now her people were free from ALIE they can figure out their next move together. Clarke will not leave her people. Bellamy will fight for their people. Together Bellamy and Clarke will fight for their people.

The defeated look that passed over Bellamy’s face said exactly what Clarke was feeling. They always have to fight to survive on Earth. They will fight to survive together.

 

* * *

 

 _"'Cause they will run you down_  
_down to the dark_  
_yes and they will run you down_  
_down 'till you fall_  
_and they will run you down_  
_down to your core_  
_'till you can't crawl no more_

 _And way down we go_  
_way down we go_  
_way down we go_  
_'cause they will run you down_  
_down till you're caught_  
_ohh way down we go_

 _Way down we go_  
_way down we go_  
_way down we go_  
_way down we go"_

_Kaleo- Way Down We Go_

**Author's Note:**

> As I was re-watching the seasons again and I realized how many levers there are and they always end up affecting Clarke. This turned out to be longer than expected. There are probably some inaccuracies. Also there are probably more levers too. I don't own the 100. There are a lot of recurring themes; levers, together, death, and survival. 
> 
> I listened to 'Way Down We Go' by Kaleo pretty much the entire time I wrote this and the lyrics are at the beginning and end. I think the song fits The 100 really well and it's just a really good song. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr [bellameblake](http://bellameblake.tumblr.com)
> 
> i. Death of Jake Giffin  
> ii. Bellamy opens the Dropship door  
> iii. Clarke closes the Dropship door before the rockets are lit  
> iv.Clarke steals Maya's key card  
> v.Clarke and Bellamy pull the lever in Mount Weather  
> vi. Clarke pulls ALIE's kill switch
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
